Sorry but due to an extraordinary comment to the TALK TO ME post (see the second comment) the pleather leggings have to wait…….and yes I realize how frivolous that sounds. Yes --- I realize it is ridiculous….it’s supposed to be.
I admire the candor in this comment because she was brave enough to point out some things in my previous posts that may not apply to everyone’s personal situation. And for that I am truly sorry. I am sorry if in anyway something I said was insensitive. This is a risk you take with blogging and this is a risk I took knowingly. Please remember that “An Infertile Blonde” is my story. It is my experience and my truth.
But let’s talk. I want to clarify.
I used to have a dogwalker. I live in an apartment building so it is not possible to open the back door and let my dogs out. And sometimes due to my job (yes, I work full time in addition to Helpusadopt.org) and a sleeping child I am not always available to take “my girls” outside. It was a luxury---one that I have let go. And it was a luxury that made my day just a “little” easier to juggle at times.
I used to drink Starbucks every day----this is true. No denying it.
And the Botox? So sue me ---I’m vain.
I was a different person before I entered the world of infertility and miscarriage. There’s no denying it.
But once we learned of the cost of adoption and how many weren’t as fortunate as we were---my husband and I did what we felt we had to do. We opened up our savings account and started Helpusadopt.org. And by opened up---I mean emptied.
The best way to describe how I feel about my life now is “survivors guilt.” I lose sleep at night over the many women who fear they will never become a mother. I worry constantly about the applicants we are unable to help. I am up at night worrying that all my efforts aren’t enough. And I ask myself on a daily basis, what more can I do?
I am not looking for sympathy.
I still believe I have a charmed life.
I am doing my best to make a difference.
I won’t apologize for who I am or how I’ve lived.
I think if we’d all had a crystal ball and known that we were going to have to pay for infertility treatments and adoptions we would all have made different choices.
I am doing my best every day to raise more money to help others achieve the dream of parenthood through adoption.
I hope that I am being judged fairly---
I hope that I am now looked at for my contributions to the world of adoption and not being judged for my vices.
Keep commenting. I love it.
Love much,
xob
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4 comments:
Well said.
You were not being insensitive and I was not judging. You said you wanted to hear from us so I cut loose *blush* it is your blog, write what you want to write. No harm, no foul. I was just responding from the bottom of my heart. I don't know what else to give up in order to afford adoption. And every situation is completely unique. Please don't misunderstand, I was not flaming you. I thought you wanted to hear from your followers, so I shared my thoughts.
I hope I was not the one who was misunderstood.
Love,
Julie
PS pleather leggings have not made it to my neck of the woods yet :D
Me again....
I think what you are doing it TOTALLY awesome, and I wish we had the means to do something similar.
But what I have done is try to help educate women about infertility, I have counseled and mentored several, one is even due in February! Very exciting for me. This costs me nothing but time and I do have that to offer.
I have also done what I can (and continue) to try to get infertility treatment covered in my state so other couples who wish to have a family are able to afford IUI or IVF as needed. hello? viagra is covered and infertility drugs and treatment are not? Someone's priorities not in the right place IMHO.
More recently I have started a blog for women who may find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy. I want to help educate them as well. I'vve collected resources and tried to create a safe place for them to go. I have offered to help in any way I can.
What I do cannot compare to what Becky and Kipp are doing. And again, I thank them for it. You rock.
Thanks again for the opportunity to share.
J
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