Miscarriage #1

When it happened all I could think was that everyone knew.

I panicked at the thought of telling people.

This wasn't any old miscarriage that I could sweep under the rug (is there even such a thing???)

This miscarriage had taken me years to get to.

The public factor was just horrendous!

When we started telling people we were pregnant, word spread quickly.

There were so many who knew our struggle and were happy for us.

It was wonderful.

I was in heaven.

It was a miracle.

But it wasn't meant to be.

I miscarried at 14 weeks.

I remember sitting at my computer the day after and composing my email.

"Dear Friends, we are sorry to let you know that we lost the baby...."

The words echoed in my head.

Lostthebabylostthebabylostthebaby

I sent the email to everyone we knew and knew we wouldn't be able to reach everyone---that scared me.

I knew it was only a matter of time before I would run into someone who didn't know.

And it would be horrific.

As I pushed send, I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer......

Please give me the strength to get through this in one piece.

And I did.

It took some time.

But I did.

You will too.

Love much,
xob